Driver's Ed., BAC & friends

I got my driver's permit in April, and I finally got around to taking Driver's Ed. Homeschooler's D.E. is usually held in Virginia Western, a community college not far from here.

It was the first time that I had ever taken a 'real' class...we had about thirty people in our class room, and I found that I really like the college atmosphere. It's a four-hour lecture every day for two weeks...and yes, the attention span of a typical teenager is much shorter than that.

I was very happy to find out that I knew a few people in the class. I quickly made friends with two girls my age...one, Jessica Dunn, I already knew from Singing School. The other, Sarah Bradbury, was Jessica's friend.

Thankfully, we had a break about every 1 1/2 hours...other wise I think the whole class would have exploded from all the restless energy. Most of what we studied was plain ol' common sense...like what the word 'emotion' means, how your personality affects the way you drive, and how to successfully start a car, brake, and accelerate. Most importantly, we heard about when to use a turn signal.

Why is that one of the most important things? Because most adult drivers here in southwest Virginia have forgotten that turn signals even exist.

And they say we're bad drivers...

Most of today's lecture was about Alcohol and drugs. Our teacher didn't tell us NOT to drink, but she didn't recommend it either. She figured that most of us would take a drink at some point in our lives no matter what she said on the subject, so instead of giving us a lecture on the evils of alcohol, we heard about what not to do when you're around it.

I should probably say right now, for the record, that I have had some wine. About 1/2 a teaspoonful of it. I sipped a tiny bit, gave it a 1/100 second taste test, and then spit it back out again.

I don't even like soda all that much. I dislike alcoholic beverages about 100% more. I know that alcohol is the main reason for teenage death, but that's not the reason that I don't like it. The reason that I dislike it is because the stuff is really liquid mold.

I mean really, have you ever thought about the fact that wine or whiskey is really fermented vegetable juice? I bet that if you let that stuff sit out on a countertop in 80 degree weather that it would grow hair in about 30 minutes. I simply can't stand the thought that I am digesting a concentrated dose of the pink stuff that lies on the floor of my shower.

No wonder that stuff makes you sick.

Anyway, we were talking about alcohol. Our teacher, Vicki, had just finished saying that if you know a person has gotten drunk, don't let that person drive, if you are sober, you drive them. At this point, Jessica, who was sitting right next to me, piped up and asked,

"Could it be dangerous to drive with a drunk person next to you?"

Now, Vicki knew that Jessica, Sarah and I were friend because we'd been hanging together for the past week. She thought about Jessica's question for a while, and then decided to give an example.

"Suppose that you and Emily here were at a party and she got drunk, and you had to drive her home..."

Say what???

I think my reaction must have been fairly obvious. The class turned, looked at me, and began laughing. Of course, my next thought flew out of my mouth...

"Oh no. That is sooo not going to happen."

Me? Get drunk?

Excuse me?

Hey, I don't even like soft drinks. Me get drunk?

After the laughter had died down, Vicki went on to say,

"No, if Emily was drunk and you were driving her home, she couldn't be a danger to you unless she grabbed the steering wheel."

And then, of course, I obliged by giving a mime example.

Interestingly enough...that episode wasn't the end of my Driver's Ed catastrophies.

The next day(ummm...this morning, as a matter of fact) was the last day of Driver's Ed. Sarah, Jessica and I were so excited about being free from class that we decided to go and see a movie afterwards. That morning I got to class first...about 8:15 in the morning. After everyone else had gotten there, Vicki finally came in. After giving a speech about what a good class we had been and thanking us for taking the class, she pulled out a surprise...three large boxes of multi-flavored donut holes.

Now, I happen to really really like donut holes, especially the plain ones. Anyway, Vicki put all three boxes on the end of the middle table...right next to me.

I didn't have any donut holes until I had finished my test...about an hour later. Most of the class had already had several. I didn't have any because I was feeling a bit on the sickish side. I finally had one after I grabbed the evaluation that I was supposed to fill out. After I filled out the evaluation I had another donut hole.

I had just put the piece of fried cake in my mouth...when Vicki spoke up.

I think it's necessary to say that we were taking an exam. In other words...the room was as quiet as a tomb...and then my Teacher loudly exclaimed;

"Emily! Another donut hole?? I've been watching you!" Then to the entire class she said, "Ya'll had better come up here and get some donut holes before Emily eats them all."

Ok, so at this point my mouth was full, so obviously I couldn't say anything. I was also incredibly embarrassed. I could feel the blood rushing to my very shocked face.

Here we go again.

Vicki finally realized that I was very embarrassed, so she said,

"Emily, I was kidding. You're fine."

As if that helped. Oh well...it passed.

It was still very very very embarrassing.

I'd love to know why I get picked on by teachers.

Mom said it's because they like me as a student. I really do try!

Teacher's pet.

Mom must have been right, because later on that morning, Vicki called on me to go down to her car to get something out of her briefcase. I suppose she trusted me.

Still, being Teacher's Pet isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

Oh, never try to play bumper cars with the wheeled chairs on a college campus. Trust me...it's not a very good idea.